It is a truth universally acknowledged that 2017 has been a raging, chemical-laden, garbage fire of a year. There were too many celebrity deaths to even comprehensively discuss, terrorist attacks, colossal fires, hurricanes, continued Trump coverage, and the potential end of Net Neutrality.

So, dear 2017:

It's years like 2017 that just makes us want to take off our pants, curl up with a big bottle of wine, and cry—but "society" claims that we must celebrate the passing of each year with some sort of "festivity." I'm here to tell you that you can party hardy this New Years' Eve, but on your own, introverted terms. Because ain't nobody got time for those over-hyped NYE parties that only let you down. So let's focus on the positive: 2017 is almost over, and maybe 2018 won't be The Absolute Worst? Say goodbye to this past year and a hearty DON'T MESS THIS UP FOR US, 2018 with a party that suits your introverted needs.

1. Inner. Circle. Only.

Let's start with the invites. Being an introvert means that you really treasure your alone time, but the idea behind throwing a party means having other people around. Make sure only your inner circle (so, your dog and pet goldfish) shows up with these cards that let them know just how much you trust them. If you don't feel like shelling out $4 a card, however, and want to practice your calligraphy skills, these cards can be an easy DIY.

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2. Dress for a successful night in

Eschew sparkly dresses and sky high heels and instead, opt for something that speaks more to your inner introvert. The dress code of the evening should reflect your innermost desires—like wearing more and going out way less with a comfy sweatshirt. Pants optional. Or you can just give up entirely with a full velour jumpsuit—the choice is yours.

3. Light up

Set the mood with a message with this mango and guava scented candle. A soft glow from a few candles and some twinkly string lights will provide you with all the lighting you'll need for your festive shindig without harshing your cozy vibe.

4. Snack up

Cook up a comforting bowl of ramen carbonara and get all the cheesy comfort that you desire while also ensuring ultimate good luck in the coming year (Chinese tradition holds that eating long noodles on New Years' Eve helps ensure a long life).

Cake is good luck, too. Just in general. Pop the bubbly and satisfy a sweet tooth with this cake that's a charming shade of #MillennialPink.

5. No touching

Tell everyone to BYOP (Bring Your Own Pillow, duh) to make sure that no one touches you ever. Sure these are made for pregnant women, but your food baby counts, right?

In Summation: