Christmas. It's a lovely time. Mum's in the kitchen swearing under her breath about having to cook 'a qwin-wa/keen-wa/how-ever-you-bloody-say-it salad', dad's removed himself to shed to avoid your mother, gran's just loitering around dropping the occasional racist/sexist comment, while you answer the home phone to the news that your great-grandmother has absconded from the nursing home and her where-abouts are currently unknown. Honestly, you can't make this shit up (I didn't - this actually happened a few years back).
We've all encountered an experience like the one above, and a Twitter thread that appeared last night proved this. These tweets sum up the joys of Christmas that we're all guaranteed to have.
1. Your Grandma making a comment on your jeans with ripped knees.
It's not a family event until at least one relative makes a comment about your ripped jeans
— brookeogorman (@brookeogormaan) December 27, 2017
My personal favorite: “Did you buy those like that?”
— em (@__haass) December 26, 2017
Honorable mention: “Where’s the rest of your jeans?!”
I wore ripped jeans to my families Christmas party...
— marisa ✨ (@marisac0rtez) December 27, 2017
Grandma: “was it a half off the price and half off the jeans kind of deal?”
2. At least five Christmas day engagements all over your newsfeed.
I saw AT LEAST 5 engagements on Facebook & I'm happy for them all, but to my future husband: don't propose to me on a holiday, I want our anniversary to be a separate special day, okkk? Ok.
— Abby (@hahaitsabby) December 25, 2017
3. Being too hungover from Christmas eve to deal with small children.
My niece and nephew screamed at every present they opened. Their unadulterated joy caused my hangover to take hold and I needed to regroup. I am now sat on the edge of the bath in a Christmas pudding hat next to a duck. This is a bad one. Season’s Greetings to you and yours. pic.twitter.com/fQ7r7q1wVo
— Greg James (@gregjames) December 25, 2017
4. Messaging your high school fling 'just to say hey'.
Good luck to all the panicking single people who'll use a simple "merry Christmas" text today to try and reignite something with that 4/10 they once dated.
— Chris Godfrey (@ChrisPJGodfrey) December 25, 2017
5. Forgetting to pack your shampoo, and having to use whatever you find in your parent's shower.
There's still shampoo I brought home from college in my dad's guest bathroom. I graduated in 1999. And he's moved twice since then.
— Nicole Plegge (@STLWriterinIL) December 27, 2017
*Dove soap bar* https://t.co/Z0IwyBIQGm
— Johnny Dantonio (@johnnyrealworld) December 27, 2017
6. Trying to watch a movie with your parents.
Shout out to everyone trying to hear a movie over their parents questions about the movie.
— Eliza Skinterklaas (@elizaskinner) December 25, 2017
"what did he say when I said "what did he say?""
— Dermot Canniffe (@dermotcanniffe) December 26, 2017
Mom: who is that???
— Priyanka Mantha (@PriyankaMantha) December 26, 2017
Me: kylo ren
<30 seconds later>
Mom: who is that?
Me: kylo ren
<30 seconds later>
Mom: who..
Me: kylo ren I will kill myself and burn this house down https://t.co/S1v5MljLSF
“Is that the girl from that thing? You know, she was in the movie about that guy... not the one where she dies, but the other one...you know...with the other girl.”
— Shannon (@ShannonBontheGo) December 26, 2017
handmaids tale(finale)w/Mom “who is that?where are they going?When did this happen?Why are they crying?What did he say?Why is she upset?” So I started making shit up.Lets see how far into season 2 she gets b4 she realizes they aren’t going to Mexico for vaca
— 1duringBoutIt (@1duringI) December 26, 2017
"Just keep watching, you'll find out!"
— Heather Fink (@heatherfink) December 26, 2017
Stay strong everyone. It'll be over soon.
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