With a near two-million viewers per nightly episode, Love Island has smashed the British summertime TV scene. It is so successful, in fact, that it has totally consumed the last four weeks of my life and everyone else’s lives that I know, and it is bound to continue doing so for the remaining three of its air time. I mean, who cares that I graduated University when the act of celebrating this graduation meant I missed Love Island for three consecutive evenings...

The Love Island obsession is real. These days my judgement of a person's character is dependent upon whether they watch/worship Love Island: is Amber in it for the game? Jonny was so mopey though? OMG AS IF Camilla snogged Jamie and went to the hideaway?

The dedicated Love Island fans have been, over the course of the past few weeks, taken through the trials and tribulations of being in a successful couple. As a result, we have been gifted a whole new romantic vocabulary and have gained a wealth of knowledge into what makes and breaks a relationship. I thought it appropriate to compile Love Island’s top lessons for successful dating. You are welcome.

1. Be prepared to GRAFT.

2. Your 'TYPE ON PAPER' may not be the one for you.

3. ‘Types on paper’ have a dangerous way of making you fall into their DICKSAND.

4. Don't BOAST too much about past experiences. #didyouknowiwasinblazinsquad

5. You might not want to put all your EGGS IN ONE BASKET.

6. The ICK is real.

GIF Source

7. There is always the risk of being MUGGED OFF.

8. A very important lesson: WHAT HAPPENS ON TOUR NEVER STAYS ON TOUR #casaamor.